Friendships in Fostering

​It was Christmas. I was tired, sad, mad, and filled with every other emotion you can think of. But because I was signed up to be a parent helper at an event for my children's small preschool, I piled two rowdy boys into the car. The event included a free meal, and I was thrilled I didn't have to cook!

As soon as we walked in, the shenanigans began.  All the children were wild, which comforted me, knowing it wasn't JUST MY KIDS! It was awkward because my husband was on patrol, so I was single-parenting.  I knew no one, so I took a deep breath and courageously asked if we could join a couple and their young children.  No sooner did we sit to enjoy our meal than another mom joined me at the table. But to my dismay, I wasn't greeted with kind words but accusations of my son doing something she didn't like.  Instantly, my mind was hollow, and her words just bounced off the inside of my skull.  I stood up, gathered my children, and left the building before the tears of embarrassment spilled down my cheeks. It was then that I swore I would never interact with that woman again because of her aggressive behavior towards me and my children.

Fast forward to July.  Summer is the most fun with wild boys.  They can run and play, get muddy, and enjoy every moment as we all fall into bed exhausted at the end of a glorious sun-filled day.  Days in the pool are the best.  Everyone finds a friend, and they jump and holler and find new skills to be proud of!  

One day at the pool, I got lucky and made a new friend.  At first, she thought I was having fun with my grandkids, which led me to admit that I was an "old" mom and that these were my boys to raise.  As the conversation continued, I learned she was stepping into raising her young grandchildren.  I was in awe of how God knits things together, and I was able to speak about Project 1.27 and some resources that she could look into for support.  This time, I wasn't the one crying as the grandma wept at the poolside, thankful for our meeting.  We sat in silence watching our kids, hugged, exchanged numbers, and even communicated and connected at the pool together again.

The strangest thing is in one of our later conversations, I discovered that this grandma was the mother of the woman who raged at me seven months earlier! What seemed like a random encounter reminded me that I don't know the whole story of people or their burdens.  I have learned (again) that instead of setting a rigid boundary to never interact with "that aggressive" woman, I can now have compassion towards her and be a blessing to her family in ways I never dreamed of.  Thank you, Lord, for never giving up on teaching me things I need to keep learning!

This journey taught me the importance of encouraging and supporting one another. All parents need people to connect with them. We need people to help us find our joy again, have coffee with us, and not be afraid to enter our fostering world.  

By Lisa McGinnett, Western Slope Director