Jumping into Summer Survival

I have a love/hate relationship with summer. I love the weather, the slower days, traveling, and spending time at the lake or around a fire pit with people I love. But as the end of the school year approaches, I also find myself fighting off anxiety and dread.

The school year comes with routine. My adopted son generally understands what his days look like and what’s expected of him. He knows PE is at 10:30 a.m. and lunch is at noon. He knows he needs to shower each night, do his chores, and complete his schoolwork.

At school, he has a 1-on-1 aide and layers of support that help his days run smoothly. And honestly, I get a few hours each day where I don’t have to be hypervigilant, wondering where he is, what he’s doing, or what might happen next.

But when summer arrives, many of those supports disappear. He loses the structure and predictability that help him feel safe, and I lose those moments where I can finally exhale.

When we had four extra kids in our home through foster care (bringing our total to eight), summers could disintegrate from sweet days of popsicles and sprinkles to hard days with police visits and fires in the field. I’m not exaggerating, those things really happened.

Over the years, we’ve learned a few “summer survival” strategies that help make the season smoother for everyone. For young kids, especially, but honestly, even for teens, structure and predictability are key.

Keep Routines Simple & Predictable

We keep consistent wake-up and bedtime routines. We use a visual schedule or simple calendar so the kids know what’s coming each day. I even include meal plans sometimes because knowing when food is coming helps them relax.

One of the most important things for kids who have experienced trauma is simply knowing: Yes, you will be fed today.

Build in Quiet Time

If your family doesn’t already have a designated quiet time in the middle of the day, I highly recommend adding one.

When we had eight kids at home, the two youngest napped for two hours after lunch while the middle kids read or played quietly in their rooms. The teens got screen time. And I got two glorious hours where I wasn’t meeting anyone’s needs except my own.

Quiet time isn’t just for kids; it helps everyone regulate and breaks the day into two more manageable parts.

Anchor the Day

Try anchoring your days with a few consistent activities or rhythms.
For us, mornings often included exercise, and afternoons included an outing or activity. When the kids were younger, the YMCA was a lifesaver. I could drop them in Child Watch for a couple of hours while I worked out (or sometimes just drank coffee in silence).
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Even now, I bring my teen to the Y almost every day. He does a weightlifting circuit, then plays basketball, ping pong, or pickleball with the seniors.

In the afternoons, we usually try to leave the house for a little while: a trip to the park, a scooter ride around the block, setting up the backyard pool, or even just running errands together. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Sometimes a simple change of environment helps reset everyone’s nervous systems.

Prioritize Regulation Over Perfection

​Sometimes the sensory need is tactile (touch-based), and sometimes it’s proprioceptive (movement, pressure, or “heavy work” that helps the body feel calm and organized). Over time, we’ve learned that recognizing the need matters more than forcing the original plan. 
If yesterday spiraled because of a loud birthday party and too much sugar, let it go. Today might need to be quieter and slower.

And if you’ve never built a “Mud Kitchen,” I’d highly recommend it. So many sensory needs can be met in that small 4-foot space. 

Think about what helps your child regulate and make those supports easily accessible. Maybe that means creating a calm-down corner with:

• a weighted blanket
• noise-canceling headphones
• fidgets
• an eye mask
• sensory tools
• soft lighting

It may even help to pick out a few special regulation items just for summer. ​

Your Days Don’t Have to Be Full to Be Meaningful

At the start of each summer, we let each child pick five things they want to do before school starts again.

The funny thing is, even with eight kids, we didn’t get 40 different things on the list because of all the overlap. I’m pretty sure every child included “get ice cream”, “go swimming”, and “eat at Chick-Fil-A”.

We keep the lists posted on the wall and cross things off as we complete them. It reminds the kids that they have a voice in the plans, and it reminds me that we have all summer to enjoy these moments.
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Some days we accomplish nothing on the list. Other days we check off two things at once. Either way, the activities that matter most are usually the simple ones centered around connection: movie nights, cooking together, swimming, or sharing ice cream after dinner.

Give Yourself Grace, Too

You do not have to create a Pinterest-perfect summer.

Regulated parents help regulate children. Rest matters too. And small moments of connection are often far more meaningful than packed schedules and expensive outings.

Some days, survival is success.

And if you’re in the thick of it this summer, you are not alone.

By Jenny Watson, Director of Development and Communication