Love is Not Rude

As a trainer for Project 1.27, I regularly teach through 1 Corinthians 13 on the topic of Love in the Context of Foster Care. In verse 5 of that chapter, Paul instructs the Corinthians that “love is not rude.” I think this instruction is an important one for us to consider as we, like the Corinthians, can be prone to rudeness.

When I think of the concept of rudeness, the picture that comes to mind, at least for me, is the middle school boy. If you have experience with middle school boys like I do (I have a son and I used to be a teacher), you know what I mean. After a while, the fart noises, pranks, and constant “6-7” or mewing start to get old. The stereotypical middle school boy just lacks the ability to tune in to the needs or desires of the people around them, or they lack the maturity to really care.

At root, this is essentially what rudeness is. It’s the inability or refusal to be tuned in to the needs of those around us, often in unseemly or improper ways. This lack of awareness is not unique to middle schoolers, and I think Paul addresses an important aspect of rudeness earlier in this very letter to the Corinthians. In chapter 11, Paul addresses some rudeness that was occurring around the church’s practice of the Lord’s Table.

In the passage, Paul talks about the ways that as the church gathered and ate together, some were showing up early and eating all the food, so that some of the people who needed it most were going away hungry. He tells them, if they are really hungry, to eat at home before they show up, because it was a shameful thing to send a brother or sister away without the sustenance they needed. Some of the people were failing to live according to the gospel, because they were out of tune with the needs of the people around them.

A deep understanding of the gospel requires us to be in tune to the needs of the people around us. Passages like Matthew 25:31-46 and James 1:27 (and many others) emphasize God’s special care for the poor, the widow, the fatherless, and the refugee or immigrant. Yet so often, as we gather together as Christians, it is easy for the vulnerable and the marginalized to become afterthoughts to the programs we design. What might it look like to avoid rudeness by thinking intentionally about caring for those most at risk of missing out on the blessings of God’s kingdom?

Align your ministry metrics - What current metrics do you measure as a church? Most churches keep track of things like membership, attendance, baptisms, etc. Are you measuring the care you provide to the poor and the vulnerable? Aligning the metrics that we measure to the heart of God forces us to evaluate ourselves along the lines of pure religion.

Audit your programs - Would a homeless individual or a child in foster care feel comfortable gathering together with you during your services? In your children’s programs, are your workers trained on how to deal with a child who has experienced trauma? Does your church, as a regular cultural practice, talk and sing about caring for the marginalized? Auditing our programs helps us find areas where we may have created barriers to entry, and it allows us to fix them to better reflect the inclusive heart of God.
Organize effectively - Is your church organized and intentional around care for the people in your community who need it most? A church in my area has a Justice Team that meets once a month to discuss the needs of the poor and vulnerable in their community and organizes people to provide food, clothing, and service to individuals and organizations that are caring well for the vulnerable. Organizing around service shows just how serious we are about the gospel’s demands.

We want to see church communities demonstrate Christ’s love by tuning in to the needs of the people in their communities, especially the most vulnerable. And Project 1.27 wants to help you accomplish this, through trauma-informed training events, providing meals through the Neighbor Program, signing up to mentor a young person aging out of foster care through our New Ground mentoring program, or encouraging people in the church to consider becoming foster parents. 

By Mark Gomez