Loving with Intentionality

Loving with intentionality means choosing to actively nurture a relationship through consistent effort, mindfulness, and commitment. While this phrase is often associated with partnerships and marriages, its meaning reaches far beyond romantic relationships. In foster care and adoption, loving intentionally shows up in profound and practical ways. Children of color are disproportionately represented in foster care, and many foster families will care for one or more children of color during their fostering journey. For children in care, identity and belonging can feel fragile. When a child’s culture is ignored or misunderstood, they may feel unseen, unsafe, or disconnected. As we observe Black History Month, we are invited to reflect on how intentional love intersects with cultural care in foster care.

Honoring a child’s culture is an intentional act of love. It acknowledges an essential truth: a child’s sense of belonging is deeply connected to their culture, identity, and personal story. When caregivers respect cultural traditions, language, and lived experiences, children feel seen and valued. This validation increases emotional safety, reduces anxiety, and strengthens trust, laying the foundation for healthy attachment and open relationships. Foster and adoptive parents open their hearts and homes to children who have experienced loss, transition, and uncertainty. Intentional love means being fully present, setting clear and healthy boundaries, and choosing patience and care, even when it is difficult. It is love that is deliberate, steady, and rooted in commitment.

Practicing Intentional Love Through Cultural Care

Practice Cultural Humility
Acknowledge what you do not know and remain open to learning from the child, their birth family, and their community. 

Celebrate Daily Life
Familiar cultural routines, such as storytelling, music, faith practices, and celebrations, provide comfort and stability during transitions. Incorporate traditional foods, music, books, holidays, and faith expressions into daily life.

Provide Representation
Seek out cultural events, mentors, and community spaces that reflect a child’s identity. Surround children with toys, books, media, and role models that affirm who they are and what is possible for them.

Address Practical Needs
Learning culturally specific care skills, such as hair and skin care, is a powerful way to affirm a child’s dignity and self-worth. 

Build Trust Through Validation
A strong connection to culture acts as a protective factor, helping children face adversity with resilience and hope. 

Loving with intentionality in foster care means choosing to see the whole child, their past, their culture, their story, and their God-given worth. It is love that listens, learns, and honors identity as an act of belonging.

By Marilyn Robinson, Director of Family Connections