If you're like me, you've had people ask about your foster/adoptive child. Why are they living with you? What happened to their parents? Are their parents drug addicts? Once, an older woman in the church asked me why anyone would want to raise someone else's child.  One of the most outrageous interactions was with someone who was determined to identify my son's father based on his skin color and features.  ​

Unfortunately, there are people who are naturally nosey, frequently cross boundaries, and have their own opinions, which they're quick to share.  People know boundaries regarding personal information such as income, family dynamics, and possibly even race. Still, they feel it's okay to ask personal questions about foster care or adoption.  

As we know, children in foster care have experienced multiple levels of trauma before even entering foster care.  There may be information they aren't aware of or are too young to know.  Family circumstances of a child entering foster care are held with great regard; holding that personal information close to your heart is essential.  When people ask insensitive questions about foster care or adoption, parents can experience a range of emotions, from feeling sad, angry, or completely caught off guard.  As you're feeling those emotions, think about the child who has come to live with you and is likely feeling the same way.  They may believe that they are in care for something they have done, and they may feel confused or embarrassed. They're already struggling with grief and loss and understandably have questions of their own, and then for strangers to start asking questions can be overwhelming.   Often, you or your children are caught off guard by the questions and astonished at how others feel entitled to information about your life or your child's. 

Just know it's okay to set your boundaries as a family.  Here is an option that may help in your boundary settings.  

W.I.S.E  
The response listed below gives children and adults four possible options for responding and provides families the power to control the situation - 

W=WALK AWAY or ignore what is being said.**

 I = IT'S PRIVATE I do not have to share information with anyone, and I can say that, even to adults (respectfully.)

S=SHARE SOMETHING about my foster care or adoption story, but I can think carefully about what I want to let others know.


E=EDUCATE OTHERS about foster care or adoption in general. Know a lot about it.

** (If a child is being bullied, it is recommended that they Walk away with an 'attitude' by saying, "Whatever."; "Who cares." This is said to discourage further victimization.)

Empowering Children and Parents to Cope with questions/comments about Foster Care and Adoption - Ellen Singer - LCSW

By Marilyn Robinson, Family Care Director

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and Project 1.27 is joining the pinwheel campaign along with hundreds of other organizations, churches, and government agencies to plant or display pinwheels in remembrance of abused and neglected children. 

In 2008, Prevent Child Abuse America introduced the pinwheel as the new national symbol for child abuse prevention through Pinwheels for Prevention®. Research has shown that people respond to the pinwheel. By its very nature, the blue pinwheel signifies whimsy and childlike notions. Planting a pinwheel represents the bright childhoods we all want for children (Prevent Child Abuse America).
The Pinwheels for Prevention® campaign allows individuals and organizations to learn more about prevention, support children and families, and volunteer for “family strengthening” programs. 
​
Child abuse is a community concern, and it takes a community to work together to help families thrive and prevent child abuse and neglect. During April and throughout the year, communities are encouraged to increase awareness about child and family well-being and work together to implement helpful strategies that support families and prevent child abuse and neglect.

Project 1.27’s vision is “every child in a nurturing, well-supported family.” Our programs provide encouragement, support, and relationships to strengthen families and promote positive childhood experiences. Promoting positive family relationships helps build safe and nurturing homes for children. Support and Relationships are the heart of Project 1.27.

How can you help?
You can volunteer for one of the programs at Project 1.27, bring a meal to a struggling family, or volunteer with other agencies working to prevent child abuse and neglect. You can purchase a pinwheel or pinwheels and display them in your yard, church, or school, in the background of your virtual meetings, or share pinwheels on social media to promote positive families and raise awareness of child abuse prevention.

Every year in April, we recognize the importance of families and communities working together to support family well-being and prevent child maltreatment. Please join us in praying for the well-being of children and families in our communities
.
Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him.(NLT) 
Psalms 127:3

By Bobbi Kline, Grants Manager

Project 1.27 helps churches and families in Colorado serve children through faith-based family preservation, ​kinship care, foster care & adoption since 2004. The church is called to preach the Gospel and make disciples. As a pastor, I had to ask myself, “How do those two things go together?”  As a FamiliesCare Manager, I regularly meet with pastors, and this is often a question that comes up in our conversations. So, how does serving families and children make disciples and spread the good news of Jesus Christ?  

First, when we serve families and children, we demonstrate the Gospel to the people we serve and those around us. The Gospel that Jesus preached while on earth is “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” (Mark 1.15). In God’s kingdom, the least is the greatest, the last is the first, and the leader is the servant. It is backward compared to what the world offers.  

When the disciples tried to keep the children away Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). So if the Gospel is the kingdom of God is near and that kingdom belongs to children, the question we have to ask, as the church, is “are the things we are doing, the things we are investing time, energy and money into, are they helping or hindering the children experience the kingdom of God?”`  Serving children who are at risk of being removed from their home or children who have experienced removal gives a glimpse into the kingdom where Jesus will ultimately restore all things.  

Serving children and families is a great way to make disciples. “A disciple is someone who is learning to live with Jesus and love others like Jesus.”  (The Discipleship Gospel Workbook) Jesus demonstrated one of the ways to love people is by serving them. One pastor recently told me, “We want to get out and make a difference in our community; we just don’t know where to start.”  Now, this pastor and a group from their church are trained to walk alongside families with children at risk of out-of-home placement.

​Along with learning the how-to’s of serving as a FamiliesCare team, in their training, they learned about the innate value that all humans have because they are created in God’s image. They knew that past trauma, theirs and the people they serve, does not have to determine their future. God wants to restore and heal our wounds. They learned practical skills in sharing what Jesus has done in their lives within the context of a relationship.  

Serving families and children is not something we do in addition to preaching and discipling. It is not in conflict with preaching the Gospel and making disciples. It is actually a great place to start.

By Brandon Alverson, FamiliesCare Manager Weld County

As we enter spring in Colorado (at least we HOPE it's spring), it is an excellent time to check in with those around you to see what kind of support they might need. Are you a friend, neighbor, or family member to someone offering foster care in their home? Here are some suggestions and resources using our 5 senses you could offer or share with those you are championing on their journey!​

SEE – What places are out there specifically for kids? This website provides a list of places with all the details needed. Check out the link, call a foster family to join you, and head out to SEE the city! 
​https://denver.kidsoutandabout.com/content/free-places-take-kids-and-around-denver

HEAR – Check out a local high school musical! Grab some tickets and invite your foster family for a musical theater outing! Here is a link showing what musical you can HEAR at local high schools AND the best link for free and cheap happenings.
https://www.milehighonthecheap.com/high-school-theater-colorado/#more-276449

TOUCH – Spring brings a time to get outside and use our bodies to TOUCH the air around us. Here is a link to a program offering free bikes! Use this link to refer a family or kid to receive a bike:
https://www.therecyclery.org/our-programs/freecyclery/

SMELL – With the newness of spring comes fresh flowers! Grab a bouquet from Trader Joe's, King Soopers, or Sprouts. Put them on the doorstep of a foster family's home, ring the doorbell, and run! A beautiful SMELL will be left behind, as will some lovely petals. ​

TASTE – Stop by a store to grab a few of these TASTY snack items to drop off at your foster family's home: ​

Eighteen months ago, we got an email we had greatly anticipated. We had just been approved by the Neighbor Program to be matched with a foster family.

Our car pulled out of the driveway one bright sunny August day. It might as well have been the holiday season with the audible merriment and laughter coming from our car as we drove the two miles that separated our home from our matched family’s house. Every hand was full of bags and hot pans as we made our way to an unfamiliar front porch.

With smiles, cheer, and laughter, we were instantly friends, and no one knew we were complete strangers only a moment ago. After a short time and before the food got cold, we left empty-handed and returned home with fuller hearts than before.

In the Neighbor Program, our main volunteer commitment is to bring the family one meal once a month, for six months. (This is, of course, after we passed a background check and 1-hour training.) We loved that we could add more to this monthly rotation, making it personal to their needs and our abilities.

What else did we do with the family? In October, we went trick-or-treating together. In November, we did all their Thanksgiving baking for them. In December, we went to our small-town Christmas parade together, and closer to Christmas, we bought all the kids gift certificates to a local coffee shop and holiday cookies. In February, we dropped off sugar cookies, frosting, and decorations with their meal and did the same for Easter. 

By this time, we had truly adopted this family. We were far beyond the six-month agreement with the Neighbor Program, and our relationship had become a devoted friendship. Finally, in July, we hosted an un-birthday party for them because we had missed everyone’s birthday that year. Our un-birthday party came with dinner, cake, decorations, and a gift certificate to the local Kids Zone arcade. Sadly for us and happily for the kids in that foster family, it also became our farewell gift because the kids were going back home to their mom. 

And what did we get from our year together? A lot of laughter, a lot of tears, both happy and sad, lots of photos of the kids enjoying our meals and cookies, and a lot of smiles that I will never forget. They know that although our paths have gone in different directions now, they will never forget that a family still loves them. A little piece of us will always go with them. 

What are my regrets? Well, I didn’t do everything I had planned for the family. Also, I worry that our paths may not cross again. But one thing is for certain: I have no regrets about giving them my time.

By Trudy Wakefield, originally published in The Bloom 

To become a Neighbor click here or email [email protected]

Foster parenting presents a complex set of challenges due to the trauma and neglect children have experienced in their families of origin.  Like all parenting, fostering is a deeply rewarding experience and like parenting can be challenging.  You put so much energy and love into being a foster parent and providing a stable home you forget about your own needs.

In February, a month when we celebrate love for others, remember it’s important to be proactive in showing love for yourself through self-care.  Self-care is essential for anyone balancing parenthood with life’s other demands, it has been shown to lower stress and anxiety while increasing self-compassion.  Modeling self-compassion will show your foster or adoptive children how they can best care for themselves.  We know it can be hard to fit self-care into an already busy schedule, but it is a healthy and productive habit to build.

Part of practicing good self-care is setting boundaries.  Be honest with yourself and others about what you can handle and begin turning down opportunities.  Saying no begins to set a boundary and others will begin to be respectful of your time.  When you begin to say no, you’ll be able to give better attention to the things you want to do and help to eliminate feeling overwhelmed.   Self-care isn’t only about your mental health and physical health but involves all areas of your life. Here are a few self-care areas and ideas to begin focusing on. 
 
Emotional self-care

• Write 5 things you’re grateful for
• Keep a Journal
• Do random acts of kindness

 
Physical self-care

• Go on a walk with your family
• Play outside with your kids
• Get a massage

 
Social self-care

• Ask others for help
• Connect with other foster parents and plan an afternoon or evening out
• Have a family game night

Intellectual self-care

• Read a book
• Do a puzzle
• Visit a museum

 
Spiritual self-care

•  Join a prayer group or Bible study group
•  Spend time in prayer
• Listen to worship music

    
By Marilyn Robinson, Family Care Director

​Statistics show that 50% of foster families quit after the first year, so what allows one family to continue fostering for more than 20 years?

Lisa and Paul McGinnett always knew they would adopt. Early in their marriage, they planned to serve orphaned street children in Bolivia. However, an illness prevented Lisa from living in a developing country. Their pastor then encouraged them to look for ways to serve children in the United States. 

After trying to conceive for ten years, the McGinnetts began exploring the adoption process, which led them to become foster parents. Over their 22 years as foster parents, the McGinnetts have had over 96 placements, including respite, and have adopted five children. Their oldest adopted child is 22, and their youngest is only 2. 

Lisa shared, "I would say that we started fostering for one reason but continued for another set of reasons. So many times, I didn't think I could go on fostering because of the heartache and how deeply I loved the children placed with us." She remembers a time when they were fostering a baby boy. The situation allowed them to welcome the boy's mother into their home to spend time with her son while Paul and Lisa supervised. One night, while grilling hamburgers, Lisa looked at her watch and realized they would be late getting the mom back for curfew. Lisa grabbed a quick burger, threw everything in the car, and started backing out of the driveway. Suddenly, the young mom started to cry.

"She looked into my eyes and said something that changed my reason and purpose for fostering," Lisa remembers. "She said, 'I have never had anyone ever be so kind to me.' Her words stopped me in my tracks. In my mind, it was JUST a hamburger! But to her, it was kindness." Since that night, Lisa believes God has given her a heart of compassion for the biological families of the children she fosters. 

The new year is bringing some significant changes to the McGinnetts. After 22 years, they've decided to close their home. They will still welcome back any prior children they've cared for but are no longer looking for any long-term or potential adoptive placements. Lisa shared, "Paul and I have always had an open door policy…but as we age, it becomes harder and harder to commit to raising a young child to adulthood without thinking of our capacity and mortality." Lisa has realized that, for now, her two younger boys need her full time and attention. "But who knows?" Lisa shared, "We may jump back in with older kids in the future."​

When asked what advice she would give someone interested in becoming a foster parent, Lisa enthusiastically said, "Just do it! Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's challenging, but isn't everything worthwhile?" Lisa and Paul have learned the importance of being committed to the children in their home, recognizing that there will often be reasons to quit. She remembers hearing about a story of a teenager who was about to age out of the foster care system. "He was asked what he would tell foster parents," Lisa said. "He said that he wishes foster parents knew that children aren't like a pair of shoes you get to try on and see if they fit." His words stick with Lisa to this day, helping her to serve children even when it's hard. 

By Jenny Watson, Director of Communication and Events​