Make a Friends List

September is National Kinship Month. Most families that have fostered are familiar with what a “kinship” placement is, and some families that are fostering are kinship families themselves! Kinship families have personal connections to the children in their care. They are often biological connections (grandchildren, nephews, siblings, etc.). Sometimes the connections are psychological (neighbors, coaches, family friends, etc.). Studies have shown that social connection is not only a significant contributor to our happiness but also a major part of our mental wellness.
The structures we see in kinship families are a great nod to the relational foundations and social connections we all need! Here are some quick tips to help you strengthen your relationships and social connections this month:

1.  Make a “friend list” of people you enjoy spending time with and why. Do you share an interest or experience? Are they great listeners? How do you feel after spending time with them?
   
2. Take inventory. Write down at least two things that get between you and spending time with any of the people on your list. Write down at least two things that help you spend time with the people on your list. Decide what you need to do more and less, to make spending time with the people on your list more manageable. Balance your vulnerabilities with your boundaries. Every yes means no somewhere else. Where can you open up? Where do you need to close up shop?
   
3. Be present. Put the phone down, make eye contact, and set time aside to really “be” with the people around you.
   
4. Save the date. Schedule time with the people on your list. Text, call, email, and set a date and time to connect on a frequent or as-needed basis. If it’s on the calendar, it’s more likely to happen!
   
5. Say YES! When someone offers to drop off dinner, bring you coffee, take the kids to the park or help your 2nd grader learn multiplication facts, accept the help.