Stepping into the Gap for Foster, Adopt, and Kinship Families

Every week, we hear from passionate ministry leaders wanting to step into the gap and serve foster, adopt and kinship families. Our church communities are excited to serve and leaders are excited to shepherd those passions and gifts. But sometimes “the how” stops us in our tracks. How do we find families that need support? How do foster/adopt/kinship families want to be supported? How do we actually create a Wrap Around Care Ministry at our church?
We are here to help you! We have staff that is dedicated to supporting church communities as you begin to think through what it looks like for your church to become Foster Adopt Friendly.
 
How does a church go about finding a family that wants support?

1. Do you know all the foster/adopt/kinship families in your church? Find out! Host a lunch and invite them to connect with each other and you.
2. If there aren’t any families in your church community, that’s okay! We would love to connect you with a family that is in need of support.
3. Don’t be afraid to start out small. Engage one small group to support one foster/adopt/kinship family once a month. It doesn’t have to be big or complicated to make a huge impact.

 
What kind of support do families actually want?

1. The number one thing foster families say they need is respite! Respite Care is care provided in a different foster home by a certified foster family. This can be care provided for a few hours  or several days. Churches can help support foster families in your community by helping to connect them and encouraging them to support one another. Foster families need other foster families who share the same language. They are certified, they know trauma, they can offer a safe place for their kids to go when they need it, they share the same language – in essence, they “get it”. Your role as a church leader is to encourage families to have other foster families in their wrap around support team.
2. Sometimes, when foster families say they need “respite” what they really mean is, “We need support.” But it is really hard to raise the white flag and admit that need for help! It is helpful when there is a coordinator from the church that can listen to family’s needs, offer some suggestions of support and then be a liaison to a small group that would provide that support.  Some great questions to ask are:

                             What does your typical week look like?
                             If there was one thing you didn’t have to do in the week, what would it be?
                             How do you like to recharge?
                             What’s something that’s not helpful for your family?
 
           Listen for the need:
                             “I never stop doing laundry!”
                              Would it be helpful if you put the laundry out on the front porch once a week, a volunteer picks it up and drops it off                                clean and folded that afternoon?

                              “I feel like a taxicab driver!”
                              Would it be helpful to drive the kids to their appointments one day a week?

                              “I just don’t even know!”
                              Does your family like pizza? I would love to bring pizza once a week for the next month.  
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Families want people within their church to get to know their family, to get comfortable with their kids’ needs and behaviors. They want to know they can rely on them to do what they say they’ll do. Families want someone to lean into their life and understand where the most stressful parts of the day are and offer to come alongside them. For many families, this is an incredibly stressful season of their lives, even if it is also their heart’s passion. These are families that are pouring out everything they have to serve vulnerable children and that takes a lot of energy. They need their church family to partner with them and expect nothing in return. To be cliché, it truly takes a village!
 
How do we actually start a Wrap Around Support Ministry?

1. Identify your Ministry Leader

• This is someone who is passionate about kids and families
• Someone who likes to talk with people
• Someone who is organized

2. Start Small

• Start with one family and one small group
• Take them out for coffee, ask them how things are going and just listen for the need
• Ask your church community if they would like to offer support to this family

3. Offer tangible ways to support their family

• Avoid saying, “Let us know how we can help.” This rarely opens the door to support.
• Offer some ideas. Listen for the areas that feel like support to them.
• Offer support for a specific amount of time (once a month for three months or once a week for one month, etc.) – this avoids the feeling of a never ending commitment for volunteers and families. You can always offer another round of support!

4. Connect with your Project 1.27 Relationships & Support Manager

• We are here to support YOU! Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.
• We have lots of resources, ideas and tools for your church community.
• Let us know what’s working, what’s a challenge for you and where you want to grow.

We would love to partner with you as you navigate building this support ministry in your church.