Adopted...Twice!

​Newlyweds Joe and Amber describe themselves as, just two people following God’s call. Before they married in December 2022, both Joe and Amber were single foster parents. Their wedding day included both traditional vows and welcoming 5 children, all adopted from foster care, all with unique needs and challenging stories, into one big family. And a great dance party!

When the couple met, Amber was fostering 3 siblings, Elsa, now 8, Anna, 5 and Olaf 4*, and had filed for adoption. Amber adopted the 3 siblings two days before the wedding. She shared, “Our wedding was also a big adoption party. It was the first time many of my family members saw the children’s faces not obscured. Joe had preciously fostered and then adopted siblings Jackson, now 7 and Heavenlee, 4. They then adopted each other’s children in September 2023. Joe and Amber describe their children as, “resilient, funny, and very much siblings. They fight, protect each other, and have fun together.” When Elsa and Anna see Jackson at school, they love to say, “That’s my brother!”

When asked how we can pray for them, Joe and Amber shared, “First, all our kids have experienced significant trauma and some have special needs. Please pray for our children as they navigate that and that God will equip us to meet all their needs. Second, the holidays can be a trigger for our kids. Our older kids know and remember their moms and struggle with them not being present. Pray that God will bring healing and we’ll be able to help them process those big losses.” As you celebrate the holidays, take time to pray for Joe, Amber and their children.

The courtship- Joe and Amber met on a Christian dating website. Amber had shared that she was a foster mom to help weed out any potential matches that weren’t interested in parenting. That caught Joe’s attention. When they decided to meet, Joe and Amber knew they needed to put lots of thought into combining their lives and children as all five children have experienced significant loss and trauma. Amber’s three were thrilled she was adopting them the second time she fostered them, but still prayed for a dad. All five children struggle with change. They needed to keep dating on the down-low so the children didn’t experience unnecessary loss or further feelings of abandonment.
They initiated the kids by setting up a playdate at a local park, not acknowledging they knew each other. (Elsa is convinced she picked Joe out at the park for Amber!) The kids had fun together and advocated for more park time and then playdates together. Amber’s children adamantly let her know they thought Joe should be their dad and they should go on a date. Joe’s kids loved being with Amber. After Joe proposed and Amber said yes, Amber set up a room at her house for Jackson and Heavenlee to “have” during visits. The couple worked hard to make their marriage a smooth transition for the children.

Joe and Amber’s foster care journeys as single parents- Joe first heard about Project 1.27 in 2004, when his pastor, Robert Gelinas, shared the vision of Project 1.27 with the church. Joe and his late wife went through Project 1.27 for training and support. Jackson was placed in their home as an infant, just as they finished the certification process. Not long after Jackson’s adoption, his biological sister, Heavenlee joined the family. After Joe’s wife passed away, he continued fostering Heavenlee, fighting to adopt her as a single dad.
Amber’s first introduction to foster care was through friends in middle and high school who were in foster care. Then, when she was about to start her senior year, her parents began fostering two boys (6 and 10) of a sibling group of four. They were their 17th foster home. In college, she was their advocate as they adopted them. She knew foster care was hard, but it was something she wanted to do and help make better. Before fostering her adopted children, Amber fostered about 25 kids, mostly teen girls and sibling groups.
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Advice for single foster parents- When asked to share advice about being a single foster parent, both Joe and Amber shared, “Yes, you can do it! It’s not easy, but it can done.” Both shared they got push back on being single foster and adoptive parents, but knew they were called. Amber shared, “God called us to care for the widows and orphans. There wasn’t an exception for singles…” For Amber, being a single foster mom, working full-time and serving in the Air Force reserves (she’s still a reservist) meant surrounding herself with an amazing tribe, her support network. Both shared that God will make a way for you. He is faithful!

Tips for parenting- If you follow Joe and Amber on social media, you see that this family knows how to have fun! Joe and Amber shared that while that’s true, there’s also a lot of chaos. “It’s a mob mentality sometimes, 5 against 2!” One secret to their success is staying very involved. Joe and Amber recommend a participatory approach to parenting and a high level of routine and organization, especially around transitions like bedtime or getting out the door for school. The parents provide fun opportunities that keep all the kids within their line-of-sight so they can constantly supervise and guide, like their “Friday Family Fun” tradition that includes movie/game nights, dance parties, and park picnic dinners. They’ve also set up their home to maximize that line-of-sight.  Joe and Amber give each other breaks and utilize their support system for the occasional date night. Both have worked toward flexibility in their jobs so they can handle the many school meetings, doctor’s appointments, and those moments a child needs focused attention from mom or dad. Most importantly, Joe and Amber rely on God to make a way. ​

By Shelly Radic, Executive Director

​*Names have been changed