Celebrating Fathers and Father Figures

In the spirit of Father’s Day, it is important to celebrate and encourage the fathers and father figures in our lives who serve their families, children and community. Fathers and father figures should provide a powerful foundation of respect, trust and love. For many children coming into care, instead of this powerful foundation, there may have been neglect, fear and harshness. As a result, fathers and father figures in foster care may be the first positive male role model a child knows. Below are some suggestions for how to recognize this important role and implement ways to help the foster child build a powerful foundation of respect, trust and love. 

Speak positively about fathers. Verbally share about the positive attributes of the foster dad you are supporting. “One thing I appreciate about Nick is the way he really listens and cares about what I am saying.” Share positive things about your own father.  “My dad was on the road almost every week, but he found a way to be present through phone calls, notes and rearranging his schedule to attend big events.” When possible, share positive things about the child’s biological dad as well.

Be a positive role model. Children will be watching your every word and move, looking to compare new male role models with former ones. Use this opportunity help them learn what a loving and caring man is like. Offering positive examples for how to treat others, communicate, manage work ethic, navigate disagreements and follow through on commitments are a few examples of useful life skills to model for children.

Partner with the family. Being a foster parent and role model for a foster child is a tremendous task and requires a lot of time, energy, and emotional capacity. It is important for foster dads to have regular, uninterrupted time with his spouse and for himself. Offer respite opportunities for the foster dad to step away and recharge, whether it be completing some to-do’s around the house or offering to take the children to the park for a couple of hours.
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Develop relationships with foster/adoptive children. As foster children learn to develop trust, having healthy mentors and male figures in their lives will help create a sense of safety and set positive goals for the future. Educate yourself in trauma care and use that information to be intentional about creating a relationship with the foster child. It will be a blessing to you both and create another valuable resource for the child to access in a healthy community.