HALT on Holiday Stress

​November is National Adoption month, and for many foster, kinship, and adoptive families, it’s the kickoff to a season of holiday stress! If you’re new to foster parenting, or you’ve been on this journey for a while, now is an excellent time to slow things down and think about your plans for the holiday season. Project 1.27 has a quick “Handling Holiday Stress” tip sheet and HALT tool to help guide you through making this holiday season as enjoyable (with realistic expectations) as possible! 

HERE ARE SOME IDEAS TO HELP WITH UPCOMING HOLIDAY STRESS:

• Create a Family Line. Plan and have a set response for hard or uncomfortable questions. Our family calls these “the family line.” When asked, “Who is the extra kid?” we give a family line. When asked, “How long are the extra kids going to be with you?” we give a family line. Rather than fumbling through uncomfortable questions at the moment, ease the stress by having a plan in place. Try having a family meeting and coming up with responses everyone is comfortable with giving. They should be short and to the point. If your children get more questions after answering, have them practice responding, “You can ask my parents.”
• Honor an Exit Strategy. The holidays often involve extra gatherings; while these can be fun, they can be stressful. It can be helpful to plan an exit strategy. If children in your care get overwhelmed, let them know if they come to you and need a way out, you will honor that need. It might mean leaving earlier than planned, letting them sit with you for a little while, or taking them outside for fresh air.
• Stay Connected. Another way to help with holiday stress is staying connected with your family and support team. Set a regular check-in time with those in your home and your support network. Plan some slow, downtime activities amidst all the hustle and bustle. Try to think of calm, connective activities like cuddling on the couch for a movie night, reading a book together, or planning time for regular walks around the neighborhood.
• Fresh Air Reset. Plan regular opportunities to get fresh air. Open a window in the afternoon, sit outside, have a cup of coffee, or go for a hike. Research has shown that fresh air boosts brain activity and helps us self-regulate.

H.A.L.T. is a quick tool you can use when you notice you’re feeling stressed (this is also a great TOOL to use with the children & youth in your home).
AM I: HUNGRY? ANGRY? LONELY? TIRED?

This simple self-assessment can be a good starting point for identifying stress. Sometimes taking a simple first step can begin the process of working through more significant stressors looming. Everything is harder to process when hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. So, once this initial stress is identified, take steps to address it. Then, when you can move forward, set up a plan to head off future stressors.
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For this & other Project 1.27 Resources visit https://www.project127.org/family-resources.html