Loving Through Self-Care

Foster parenting presents a complex set of challenges due to the trauma and neglect children have experienced in their families of origin.  Like all parenting, fostering is a deeply rewarding experience and like parenting can be challenging.  You put so much energy and love into being a foster parent and providing a stable home you forget about your own needs.

In February, a month when we celebrate love for others, remember it’s important to be proactive in showing love for yourself through self-care.  Self-care is essential for anyone balancing parenthood with life’s other demands, it has been shown to lower stress and anxiety while increasing self-compassion.  Modeling self-compassion will show your foster or adoptive children how they can best care for themselves.  We know it can be hard to fit self-care into an already busy schedule, but it is a healthy and productive habit to build.

Part of practicing good self-care is setting boundaries.  Be honest with yourself and others about what you can handle and begin turning down opportunities.  Saying no begins to set a boundary and others will begin to be respectful of your time.  When you begin to say no, you’ll be able to give better attention to the things you want to do and help to eliminate feeling overwhelmed.   Self-care isn’t only about your mental health and physical health but involves all areas of your life. Here are a few self-care areas and ideas to begin focusing on. 
 
Emotional self-care

• Write 5 things you’re grateful for
• Keep a Journal
• Do random acts of kindness

 
Physical self-care

• Go on a walk with your family
• Play outside with your kids
• Get a massage

 
Social self-care

• Ask others for help
• Connect with other foster parents and plan an afternoon or evening out
• Have a family game night

Intellectual self-care

• Read a book
• Do a puzzle
• Visit a museum

 
Spiritual self-care

•  Join a prayer group or Bible study group
•  Spend time in prayer
• Listen to worship music

    
By Marilyn Robinson, Family Care Director