Marriage + Fostering

Becoming a foster, kinship, or adoptive family affects every part of your marriage, your life, and the kids you decide to care for. How do you keep your marriage a priority when a crisis is always at your door? It can be hard on both of you as individuals and as a family.

Here are four tips to try with your partner during this month of love! 

1. Open communication. Deciding to become foster parents should not be only one spouse's decision. Please make sure you talk about it together and that you both feel comfortable moving forward. Keep this communication going as you start taking placements, visiting caseworkers, meeting biological families, etc. 
2. Your words matter. As foster parents, there will be a lot you both will do that you might not have done before. As part of your open communication, remember to thank each other for everything you see your partner doing, such as making dinner, running the kids to a parent visit, cleaning up the living room, etc.
3. ​Make time to do things as a couple. Ask your placement agency to help you find respite providers or to okay friends or family members as an alternative care person. Do the things you love to do together: going to the movies, going out to dinner, or even just having a night at home. Cooking can go a long way in keeping you connected.
4. Take a weekend away (when you can). Traveling with kids can be fun and a bonding experience for you and the kids, but taking a weekend to do something just the two of you, even once a year, goes a long way. Go to a nearby town and have a tourist experience. Attend a marriage retreat. Visit some friends. The important thing is to enjoy the quiet and be with each other!

By Krissie Yamagucchi, ECHOflex Support Manager