Mother's Day & Father's Day: Supporting Foster, Adoptive & Kinship Families

Supporting your foster, kinship or adoptive family through Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be more valuable to them then you might realize. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can feel like heavy lifting for these parents, and here’s why: Children and youth experiencing foster care and/or adoption had and were separated from their first moms and dads. That’s traumatic. 

Holidays that highlight this can trigger feelings of loss, grief, self-doubt, insecurity, anger, resentment, fear, and loneliness, Those feelings expressed as negative behaviors are challenging for parents to deal with, especially when the expectations for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are centered on celebrating, not grieving. Your family may be experiencing angry outbursts and defiance instead of, or along with breakfast-in-bed and hand-made gifts.

Sometimes foster parents are experiencing “empty arms” on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. After caring for a child for weeks, months, sometimes even years, that child has successfully reunified with biological parents. Even as your family celebrates reunification, missing that  little smile or big laugh can be heart-wrenching.

Here’s a few ways you can support your family before, during, and after these holidays:

• Text or call and ask mom or dad how they’re doing. 

 

• Prepare a meal to drop off or grab a dinner gift card to a favorite restaurant.

 

• Send flowers or cookies and a card letting mom and dad know they are ROCKING this foster parent thing.​​

• Put together an easy gift basket with some parent favorites:
  
  - Lemonade basket: Bottle of refrigerated lemonade, lemon head candies, yellow napkins & fun paper straws.
  
  - BBQ basket: Bottle or two of BBQ sauce, bottle of hot sauce, bag of BBQ chips, red picnic style napkins & set of tongs.

• The most important thing you can do for your family around these holidays is PRAY. Pray that the foster parents feel loved and supported. Pray for understanding and patience with difficult child behaviors. Pray that children and siblings feel safe and loved. Pray that everyone in the family has joy and positive lasting memories.