Moving Past Grief to Love Children in Need

​Melinda, Sean, Phoenix & Adaira at Brec’s adoption

With French Onion Dip Sandwich fixings in the crockpot, Melinda Coburn took her two daughters to swimming lessons. After lessons, Melinda checked her phone and discovered 15 messages from her husband, Sean. “The county would like to place a baby boy with us tonight.” Arriving home, the girls, Phoenix and Adaira, picked out some favorite toys and blankets to share with the baby before stationing themselves at the front window, eagerly watching for the arrival of Baby Brec.

​Baby Brec’s arrival was one of many “wild nesting stories” as Melinda describes the often-rushed process of preparing for a new foster child’s arrival. Placement prep pros, Melinda and Sean have fostered 14 children, supporting reunification, providing respite and adopting Adaira and Baby Brec.

Grief tried its best to derail the Coburns’ call to foster. When their first placement, Grayson, was placed with relatives after just two months in their home, Melinda and Sean decided the grief of letting a child go was just too much. Time, and the relationship they developed with Greyson’s biological family helped them process their grief. After a while, the Coburns decided that while foster care was painful, there were still kids who needed a place to stay and people to care for them. It was time to move past their own grief and serve kids again. When biological daughter Phoenix was just three months old, Melinda and Sean updated their home study and reopened their home to children in foster care.

Melinda shared another wild nesting story around the arrival of “Jelly”.  Sean’s parents were headed over for a mountain get-away when a case worker called looking for a foster family to care for three-year-old Jelly who was being moved from a failed foster placement. Calling her mother-in-law, Melinda remembers saying, “We might still be able to go the mountains, but we have a three-year-old coming any time. Friends are bringing a crib. Could you help us pull everything together?” While MIL watched the kids, FIL put together the crib and Melinda got everything else together. Melinda shared, “Our in-laws were not disappointed by the change of plans. They were honored about being part of caring for this little girl.”

Jelly’s parents worked hard to overcome some big challenges, achieving stable housing, stable income and sobriety in just a few months. Melinda shares, “That’s hard and they did it! We are so proud of the hard work they put in getting her back home. There is not a toy or experience you can give a kid that is more valuable than that!”

Wild nesting stories and helping kids and their families. The Coburns will tell you-
If you think foster care will leave you broken-hearted, you’re probably right and that’s what makes you the right person to sign up for foster care. Kids in foster care need people who care that much. It’s not easy. Having the county involved in your day-to-day can be obnoxious. The inconvenience isn’t what should drive your decision. If you can help kids and their families through a difficult time, you should go for it. It’s very rewarding. It has enriched our lives.

There are a lot people who will read this and say, “I can’t do this”. There are other ways you can help. Become a respite provider. That’s huge! Help with transport between visits. Babysit. Fold laundry.

How can you pray for the Coburn family?
Times are stressful for everyone right now. Kids are getting stir-crazy. Pray for God’s peace.