Ten Ways to Build Connection Through Play

When it comes to processing complex emotions as a result of trauma, children do not have the same ability to identify and articulate the things that are bothering them. As a result, it is common for foster children to exhibit the pain of their trauma through behavioral outbursts. Adults in a parenting or mentorship role to the child can play a strong role in helping the child understand their emotions and teach them how to express powerful emotions effectively. One of the greatest ways to build this connection is through play. Below are some suggestions on how to use play to unlock emotions and thoughts that a foster child might be struggling with.

Before engaging in any play, be sure to eliminate all distractions and give the foster child your full attention. Get on their level to optimize opportunities for eye contact and immersing yourself in whatever activity they choose. Allow yourself to be silly and join them in their world at their pace. If an activity seems to trigger the child, quickly stop that activity, take time to reassure the child and allow her to choose a new activity. 

• Hangman: Use a dry erase board and let the child choose words or phrases for you to guess.
• Hide and seek in the dark: Turn out all the lights and provide the participants with glow sticks so they can be seen in the dark and flashlights for the finder.
• Name that tune: Use music that is familiar to both you and the child, and hum out songs while the other guesses what the song is.
• Name that face: Take turns making faces and trying to guess what emotion is being represented. 
• Treasure hunt: Hide something special in the backyard, and shift into full investigator mode to find the item. Draw a map, grab a magnifying glass and some binoculars, and enjoy the adventure of finding the treasure.
• Baking: This is a great way for kids to make controlled messes and experiment with fun creations. Look up some unique recipes for baked goods and let the child take the lead.
• Gardening: Help your foster child tend to a garden, teaching her how to use the tools and care for the plants. Let the child pick some seeds he likes and give him the responsibility of caring for his chosen plants.  
• Exercise games: Have a jump rope or hula-hoop competition, or choose a kids’ yoga video to do together online. This is a great way to get exercise and enjoy some friendly competition.
• Mad Libs: Find a funny story online and allow your child to use her imagination to fill in the blanks.
• Play house: Let your child play the role of an adult and choose a role for you. It can be a very enlightening time as he will likely speak to you the way he’s been spoken to.
• Have a dance party: Put on some great music and dance like no-one is watching! You can make up some cool new moves and take turns copying one another. ​