The Languages of Love

We often think of February, the “Universal Month of Love,” as a perfect time to give and receive love. But not everyone has had the opportunity to give or receive love in a healthy, safe way.  

A young man from a tough family situation once confessed it was hard for him to say or hear the word “love” because it meant he was going to be hurt. The people in his life said they loved him but then continued to harm him. So, he avoided giving or receiving love to avoid being hurt.

As Support Teams for foster/adoptive/kinship families, we have a great opportunity to understand what makes the individual in these families feel loved and safe. Not everyone interprets love the same way, so thinking about what “love language” the other person speaks is a helpful place to begin.

Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book on The 5 Love Languages.* The following are a few ideas (by love language) that you might use to love on the parents and children you support during this Universal Month of Love:

• Send a handwritten note of what you admire most about the person (words of affirmation)
• Send a gift card for their favorite food/coffee place (gifts)
• Take them on an outing of their choice, with the focus to connect with them and do what they enjoy (quality time)
• Offer a pat on the back, safe hug, shoulder-to-shoulder tap, or hair ruffle to acknowledge how special they are to you (physical touch)
• Find a way to make their favorite meal, do laundry, surprise them with a favorite beverage or do something to brighten their day (acts of service)

Whatever the language, we can learn to speak love and encouragement in new, helpful ways with the families we support. Speak love today!
 
*Follow this link to read more about The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman