Tinsels and Lights and Presents and… Fights?

It’s that time of year. Presents are under the tree, lights are hung around town, and there are 100 fun activities in the area. Your family is planning a cookie decorating party with Christmas music, hot chocolate, and maybe watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. One of your friends just began fostering and has two kids in her home. You immediately extend an invitation, and she accepts. The festivities have begun, and most kids are having a great time. You notice, though, that the two kids who are in your friend's care don’t seem happy about anything- in fact, the more fun that is happening (music, dancing, decorating…), the more amped up they are getting- they’re starting fights, snapping at each other and even throwing cookies. When the party's over, you find yourself wondering what went wrong. 

3 Things to consider before inviting foster families into your home:

1. Know that kids who are in foster care have experienced hard things and a great amount of loss. Because of this, kids may have trauma responses when in unknown environments or situations that bring an amount of chaos.
2. Ask your friends what things affect the kids in their home the most. There may be some things you can do to help soften an event's effect (like turning down music or ensuring a child has space when decorating cookies). 
3. Consider having some known favorite things of kids who are in foster care. Maybe the children like certain sprinkles or would rather decorate gingerbread cookies over sugar cookies. Get creative!

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The truth is that the Holiday season can be very chaotic for kids who have experienced loss and trauma. Sometimes, just a few steps or a lens of empathy and understanding can be a game-changing experience for your friends and family stepping into foster care. It’s possible to help your friends and the kids in their care enjoy the holiday season. Invite them and be willing to alter some things so everyone can have fun! 

By Rhonda Denison, Metro Relationships and Support Manager