Ways to Help Foster and Adoptive Families Through the Holidays

What a year this has been! The holidays will be here before we know it. While we hope all families experience a time of celebration and joy, even during this difficult season, the holidays can be a difficult time for foster and adoptive children. The holidays tend to bring up many triggers, questions and tough emotions for children to navigate. Below are some ideas for supporting children during this time. 

• Lead with curiosity. Ask the child how he has celebrated past holidays and listen to his stories. If there are any traditions that can be incorporated into family celebrations,  such as special food, games, decor, or cultural activities, assist the family in including those during the holidays. Not only does this honor the child’s voice, you might just start a beloved new tradition!
• Set realistic expectations. Share what the holidays typically look like in the new home. For many reasons, this year will likely look different from years past. Helping a child understand what to expect increases her ability to prepare her mind, set realistic expectations, and practice coping skills. Remember to set aside a quiet space the child can escape to when things get overwhelming! ​

---

• Help the child with gift-giving. Support the child in giving gifts to the people that are important to him. Help him select or create small items for biological family members, the foster family, and special friends. 
• Support healthy connections. If the child has biological family members or friends from her community of origin she is allowed to contact, organize for a Zoom call or create a Christmas card for those individuals. Helping a child maintain these connections is important and can relieve the grief and stress of separation. 
• Create new memories. Even when things get hard, show the child unconditional love and empathy this season, and encourage him to participate in the traditions that are special and unique to your family. Treat the child equally with all the children in your home, showing her that she is a valued part of the family.