Tell me about your support team.
One of the things Project 127 does best in its training is having families bring their support team to a support team training. About 10 of our friends came to that training and learned how to walk alongside our family as we welcomed kids into our home. Our family currently has a team through the organization RISE on top of our already existing friends and family. This team has served us through meals, coffee, home organization, and friendship. 
 
What are the most impactful things a support team can do, in your opinion?
I think the most impactful thing a support team can do is listen and tailor how they serve according to the family's needs. For one family (us!), it may be gift cards or meals- for another, it may be coming over and folding laundry. The most impactful way to serve starts with listening.
 
Were there any times you didn't feel supported?
I think after we adopted, it wasn't clear to our community that we still needed support- like we rode off into the adoption sunset and lived 'happily ever after.' While we do love our kids so much, things actually amped up behaviorally after adoption, but we were left without a lot of the support we had prior to adoption.
 
Were there any times were they went above and beyond?
In 2024, we realized we needed to create a robust team around us, so we engaged professionals, resources, and our church community to share with them what we needed. We have been so supported through our church, friends, and RISE team ever since. One day, one of our kids injured herself, and I reached out to our support team leader to share what was happening. They rallied the team immediately, showed up at our house with dinner and a cheesecake within hours!
 
Another time, a team of people came to our house for an entire Saturday just to serve our family- they painted a bedroom, hauled yard junk, added slats to our fence, cleaned our oven, and so much more! This was impactful because I desperately wanted to get these things done, but I know they just never would have gotten done- what a burden lifted!
 
Have you experienced any hurtful or unhelpful actions from someone who was trying to "help" you?
Occasionally, unsolicited advice can be hurtful. Our kids have big behaviors, and sometimes, well-meaning friends have 'helpful advice' that maybe isn't so helpful. I would rather have empathy than advice.
 
What advice would you give to support team members?
Lead with empathy in every way you serve. Ask questions instead of making assumptions. Instead of asking 'how can I help?', try giving options and saying something like 'I want to help. Would you like me to deliver a meal this week or can I take you to coffee?' Sometimes, foster parents feel overwhelmed, and the mental load of trying to come up with options is just too much.
Even though Rhonda would say that her kid's behaviors haven’t changed much over the years and are often still extremely difficult, their family’s support has dramatically increased. She is extremely grateful that even with unchanged behaviors, their capacity has greatly increased.

Strengthening Your Marriage While Navigating Foster Parenting
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Parenting is challenging, there's no denying that. But when you add the unique demands of fostering children—especially those struggling with trauma—it can stretch the bonds of even the strongest marriages. As foster parents for the last 8 years, my husband Ryan and I have experienced firsthand how stress can test a relationship. From navigating trauma-informed care to managing the complexities of our kids' emotional needs, there were many challenges to our marriage along the way.
Yet, after all the struggles, I can say with confidence that our marriage is stronger now than ever. It’s deeper, more forgiving, and filled with more love than we could have imagined. I’ll be honest: it’s been a journey of growth, and we’ve had our share of tough lessons along the way. But through it all, we’ve learned some valuable strategies that have helped us not just survive as foster parents, but thrive as a couple. Here are some of the key principles that have helped us:

1. Open, Honest Communication
This one sounds simple, but in the middle of the chaos—when emotions are running high, kids are acting out, or you’re just trying to keep your head above water—communication can easily break down. For us, we had to make a conscious effort to talk openly about everything, even the hard stuff. Whether it’s about a behavior we’re struggling to manage or just the exhaustion we’re feeling, being honest with each other has been a cornerstone of our relationship.
We also had to learn how to listen—not just to respond, but to truly hear each other. When Ryan is stressed about a situation or I’m feeling overwhelmed, it's not enough to just hear the words; we’ve had to cultivate the practice of validating each other's feelings. This has helped us avoid misunderstandings and resentment, two things that can easily creep in when you’re both spread thin.

2. Assume the Best of Each Other
It’s easy to assume the worst when tensions are high. When you're exhausted it can be easy to misinterpret your spouse's actions or words. In foster parenting the stakes feel high, and both of you are likely to experience moments of extreme stress. But we’ve learned the importance of assuming the best of each other and that we are on the same team fighting the problem together. I might be short with Ryan or distant, but I tried to communicate that it wasn't about him; it was about the stress I was under or the emotions I was working through. This mindset has allowed us to approach each other with grace instead of frustration, and it’s kept us from letting small disagreements snowball into bigger issues.

3. Build a Strong Support Network
No one can do this alone. This is true for foster parents and for any couple facing significant challenges. We’ve been fortunate to build a network of people who understand the unique struggles we face. These are the people who offer a listening ear, share advice, or even take our kids for a few hours so we can recharge and reconnect to one another.
For us, having a trusted group of friends, family and fellow foster parents who understand our journey has been invaluable. It’s a reminder that we’re not in this alone, and when we’re feeling isolated, it’s important to lean on those who “get it.”

4. Be Willing to Sacrifice
Foster parenting requires a lot of sacrifice—time, energy, and sometimes even personal desires. In our marriage, we’ve had to be willing to give of ourselves in ways we hadn’t anticipated. That might mean Ryan staying up late with a child who is struggling emotionally, or me taking a step back from a personal project to help support his needs. We’ve learned that sacrifice isn’t just about giving something up, but about investing in each other and the bigger picture of our family. It’s the little things—like one of us covering for the other when we need a break—that have kept us moving forward together.

5. Know When to Say No
This is a lesson we learned the hard way. Early on, we had a tendency to say yes to every placement that came our way, especially when we thought we could help a child in need. But what we quickly learned was that adding kids too close in age to our youngest was a recipe for disaster. The dynamics just didn’t work, and it added stress to our already fragile family system.
It’s a delicate balance—wanting to help, but also knowing when to draw a line for the sake of your own family’s health. We realized that we could still make a difference while also saying no to things in order to support the well-being of our kids or our marriage, and ultimately continue fostering for the long term and avoid burnout.

6. Forgiveness is Key
This one can’t be overstated. There will be times in your marriage—and in your parenting journey—where you mess up, where you feel like you’ve failed each other or the kids. But Ryan and I have learned that forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have. We’ve had to forgive each other for mistakes made in the heat of the moment, for things said out of frustration, and for the times we’ve dropped the ball. Forgiveness allows us to move forward, to learn from our mistakes, and to keep growing together.

It's Worth It
The road of foster parenting is undeniably challenging, but it has also been one of the most rewarding journeys of our lives. Along the way, we’ve learned that it’s not about being perfect, but about being present and committed to each other. Our marriage isn’t flawless, but it’s strong. It’s built on love, trust, and a deep sense of purpose.

For any couple considering foster parenting, or for those already in the trenches, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to struggle, to stumble, and to ask for help. With open communication, understanding, and a willingness to sacrifice, you can weather the storm together—and come out stronger on the other side.

By Jackie Hall, Neighbor Program Manager

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​In my twelve years of working in nonprofits, I've noticed one big difference between lackluster programs and energetic, life-giving work: the freedom for employees to bring their whole life experience and creativity to work. 

Each of my colleagues at Project 1.27 is brilliant, with their mixture of professional programming sprinkled with grassroots magic. I see my colleagues using their gifts, developed in the tears and joys of their own home lives, to enhance their roles here at P127. That personal wisdom is one of the keys to ensuring every child we serve has a nurturing, well-supported home. 

Jackie, my counterpart and Matching Manager in the Neighbor Program is a foster and adoptive mom. After three years of faithfulness as foster parents, a foster care agency asked Jackie and her husband Ryan to mentor other families through a monthly support group. Now five years into leading the group, they've held the hands of dozens of parents through heartbreak, isolation, and joy. They can personally attest to the long road of foster care and encourage others to stay the course. Jackie spoke at our Colorado Springs story slam this fall, sharing her own story as a child in kinship care. This personal knowledge allows her to train volunteers in the sensitive nature of entering a kinship or foster home to deliver a monthly meal, respecting the child's story and the caregiver's need to feel cared for.

Alex is our Director of Community Engagement, author of five books, and keynote speaker for thousands of audience members. She started her career in a home for teens without a place to go. I watched her take the stage at a local church this winter to share her keynote, "Loving My Actual Christmas." After sharing practical tips on managing the expectations and stresses of the holidays in 21st-century America, Alex invited the audience to step out of their social circle and become a Neighbor or attend foster parent training. From Alex's blending of her pre-Project 1.27 speaking skills and her drive to fill our program with quality volunteers, twelve people expressed interest, and four are already in the process of taking monthly meals to a kinship or foster family.

Lisa, our Director on the Western Slope, has a full house of teens and elementary kids. Thanks to her lengthy commitment to fostering 96+ children, she trains foster parents in Mesa County, explaining that while this is not easy, it is worth it. Her hard-won wisdom lets parents and future foster parents know that when they feel like everything is going wrong, they can keep showing up faithfully. Along with her husband, who serves as a CO Responder with Mesa County Behavioral Health (assisting the Sheriff), Lisa sought (and received!) funding to lead connection groups between kinship families--often grandparents or older siblings--with others who are unexpectedly caring for their relative's children. Together, they hosted an advanced training on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, a common diagnosis in their local community.

I'm proud of my colleagues. They put their hearts into this work because they've lived it themselves. They see the needs daily in their own home and want every child to get the personal attention, love, and heartfelt effort they give their kids. Families in Colorado are more nurtured and well-supported because Team 1.27 brings both lived and professional experience to our programs.

By Hope Forti, Neighbor Program Founder & Director

In 2023, as Emily and Shane McDaniel said goodbye to the two children placed with them, they felt a growing discouragement. The couple stepped into foster care with a passion to serve children in foster care AND their biological parents. After serving 15 children, that hadn’t happened.  Instead, they felt like the “revolving door of foster care”.  Emily shared, “When we stepped into foster care in 2020, we had big hopes to invite these families to Christmas dinner. We thought we could foster families and not just children. It was a disappointment that the dream of fostering families hadn’t been our reality. We truly believe in reunification, but no one wanted us.”

As they struggled and grieved, Shane and Emily leaned into their faith. According to Shane, “Lots of times we felt like we were failing. We asked ourselves if this was what God wants for us, to be the temporary parents. Looking back, can see God was preparing us for what it would look like to be a family of seven. Our entire experience as foster parents has prepared us for each of the kids in our house.”

At Project 1.27’s Family Christmas party in 2023, the McDaniels shared their discouragement with another Project 1.27 family, the Stephens. Emily describes their friendship with the Stephens like this, “It’s like we have a bonus family with the Stephens. They know what it is to be a foster family, to wrestle, to feel defeated.” The Stephens helped Shane and Emily think about all the things that had happened, and to see that what looked like a mess, was really a beginning. 

Today, Shane and Emily have a full house that includes two littles under two, two preteen middles, and a nineteen-year-old! After feeling like the revolving door of foster care, the four children Shane and Emily were fostering last Christmas have remained in their home, and they’ve welcomed a second little girl, who had been placed with the Stephens. Learning the little girl would need an adoptive family, Shane and Emily stepped in and are moving forward to adopt her. In November, Shane and Emily celebrated the adoption of the baby girl they welcomed in 2023.  At the request of their nineteen-year-old, Jacob, the McDaniels are also pursuing adult adoption for him. 
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Shane and Emily describe their new family dynamics this way, “The big helps with the middles. The middles help with the babies. The babies love their big brother. It’s a cool family dynamic. They need each other.”  Shane goes on to share, “It is fascinating to see how much the children have in common even with wildly different backgrounds.”

Reflecting on the beauty he’s seen as a foster dad, Shane shared, “I’m an eternal optimist. Every placement we’ve had I’ve grabbed hold of something beautiful. We’ve had some placements that were raw. One was hands-down the most difficult teenager I’ve ever experienced. One day, I took this teen to work with me and he immediately attached to my coworker, a guy whose life was in shambles. My teen thought this coworker was the coolest guy. That day, my coworker told the boy that there’s always hope when you know your Creator. I couldn’t get through to the boy when I shared about faith, but that day, my coworker could. Wow, I was not expecting that!”

We often assume that children are excited and love Christmas during the holiday season. Though this is frequently true, some foster and adopted children grieve past holiday memories with their biological families and become closed off or angry. Foster and adopted children may have strong emotional ties to past memories of Christmas and be confused about what to expect this year. 

Once school is out, a change in routine and schedule can also add extra stress to children. Emotions may be driven by fear and anxiety, presenting hyperactive behavior, mood swings, frequent meltdowns, clinginess, or oppositional behavior. When this happens, foster and adoptive families need their support team to spring into action. Plus, you get to help create new holiday memories! 

Here are some ideas for providing support during this potentially stressful season: ​

1. Christmas crafts. Activities that allow you to work alongside a child to build connections are invaluable! Make Christmas decorations with the children or build snowmen with younger children or forts with youth. 

2. Take the kids to community or church events. Although there are many parties and festivities, keep in mind that kids can become overstimulated by too much going on around them. Check with parents to find out if the child is triggered by sights, sounds, or too much sugar!

4. Help tackle the Christmas shopping. If you’re wanting to bless the family, it’s always best to find out what the family actually needs. Giving memberships to the zoo or museum can be a helpful way to provide a year's worth of activity for the family.

5. Wrap presents for the family and offer to store them at your home so the kids won’t be enticed by presents under the tree. 

7. Babysit for an evening so the parents can go out to a work Christmas party or date night present shopping. 

9. Host an evening of caroling and be sure to include songs that everyone, including the children, will know. 

10. Provide a kid-friendly Nativity set and share the Christmas story

11. Bring a meal! Whether it’s a hot meal or a care package of simple meals, it’s always helpful to have one less thing to manage in the evening!!

Re-posted from December 2017