 Supporting your foster, kinship or adoptive family through Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be more valuable to them then you might realize. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can feel like heavy lifting for these parents, and here’s why: Children and youth experiencing foster care and/or adoption had and were separated from their first moms and dads. That’s traumatic.
Holidays that highlight this can trigger feelings of loss, grief, self-doubt, insecurity, anger, resentment, fear, and loneliness, Those feelings expressed as negative behaviors are challenging for parents to deal with, especially when the expectations for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are centered on celebrating, not grieving. Your family may be experiencing angry outbursts and defiance instead of, or along with breakfast-in-bed and hand-made gifts. Sometimes foster parents are experiencing “empty arms” on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. After caring for a child for weeks, months, sometimes even years, that child has successfully reunified with biological parents. Even as your family celebrates reunification, missing that little smile or big laugh can be heart-wrenching. Here’s a few ways you can support your family before, during, and after these holidays:
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 We are not your typical foster family. We stumbled upon something I now believe God was calling us to the entire time.
In May of 2020, our dear friend and former nanny called needing a safe home for herself and her 4-month-old grandson as his home wasn't an option. Hubs and I have three children and were heading out on a long camping weekend, but our friend was in a hard place having accepted immediate custody of her grandchild. We consider our friend and her daughters as family so we offered our home and time to troubleshoot the challenges when we returned from the mountains. What started as a small offer quickly became an all-in undertaking. We were our friend’s safest option and reluctantly agreed to share our home until a longer-term solution was reached so she and her grandchild could stay with people they knew. We became a kinship foster home.  Aah! April! It teases us with sunshine and drenches us in precipitation (at least in a good year). We love the hope that rain and snow bring: the green, the new growth, the flowing rivers and filled-up reservoirs, all waiting for us on the other side of the puddles and drifts. Sometimes it’s hard to embrace hope in the middle of a storm.
At times, that's what being a foster or adoptive family is like. There's so much hope for growth and restoration. Simultaneously there’s trauma behaviors, uncertainty, and feelings of isolation. During a season of grief and loss, a Project 1.27 kinship parent recently shared that she didn’t need encouragement, she just needed to know people were sitting with her. This is where YOU come in as “her” support team. You don’t need all the answers, sometimes the family you're supporting just wants someone to pull up a chair and sit.  It’s time for March Madness! This past year has felt like madness to many of us. In recent months, most foster families have experienced unprecedented challenges related to systems, resources, and trauma. They need support team players like YOU now more than ever! There are many players on your foster family’s team, and their social worker/case manager is an MVP (Most Valuable Player) we want to recognize in March!
March is Social Worker Appreciation Month and a great time to get involved to support and encourage the social workers in your community! Social workers are the “point guards” found in child welfare, non-profits, schools, hospitals, and businesses. Here are some fun & COVID-19 conscious ideas to show appreciation for the social workers working hard to care for the vulnerable in your community:
 Tim, an IT Coordinator, and his wife Liz, a career branding coach, always knew adoption would be part of their lives. After moving to Colorado, they decided to explore foster care and attended a Project 1.27 Info Night. Liz shares that her heart had been disconnected from fostering until she heard the statistics about kids in foster care. Those statistics started conversations about how the couple would get involved. Two minutes in, she was crying, and Tim had quietly decided he was, too.
Liz and Tim were in the process of becoming foster parents when at the memorial service for Liz's dad, they were deeply struck by the many tributes to his unconditional love. Liz shares, "My dad was a pastor, and he intentionally tried to love whoever was in front of him. Even the dry cleaner had something to say about Dad. The example of his love toward others reminded us of why we entered foster care - to plant seeds of love. We might not see the fruit of our labor, but we have faith that God will grow those seeds into a magnificent garden."  February is a great time to show love to the foster or adoptive family you support. God showed his love by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him (1 John 4:9). As our Father showed His great love in action, through Jesus, we too can say, “ I love you" through our actions! Try some of these fun and meaningful ways to say, “I love you!” For Parents
For a Child
It makes such a difference for foster and adoptive families to know they have a caring support team around them! Anytime is the perfect time to say "I love you" by doing something thoughtful to show your support! Plans can change but my love for them doesn’t, and the kids and bio mom know that. - Jeannie Lewis, Foster Mom for Teens  After the residential facility that Jeannie Lewis directed closed, she and her husband, Russel, recently retired from law enforcement, knew they had to do something. There weren’t many local options for youth, especially teens with hard behaviors, so Jeannie and Russel decided they’d learn more about foster care. With the love and support of their four adult children, three years later, the Lewis family has fostered 7 children, one of whom they’ve adopted and a second with adoption in the near future.
In our recent Q&A with foster parent Jeannie Lewis, she shares some of the trials and triumphs experienced while fostering teens and gives us a glimpse into the hope and heartache of reunification. Q: What led you to foster care? A: I was the director of a residential youth facility and many of the youth there had hard behaviors that made it challenging to step them down into foster families. The center closed, and I knew there wasn’t any place for these kids to go. My husband and I attended a Project 1.27 Info Night and we’ve been foster parents for three years. Q: What are some of the challenges you’ve experienced as a foster parent? A: Self care is key. Especially the first year. Plan respite. Plan breaks. Parenting is hard. Parenting teens is hard. You have to be careful you don’t get sucked into secondary trauma. Sometimes teens come into a foster home having experienced fourteen or fifteen years of trauma; that’s exponential. I have to check my own anxiety level to make sure I’m the level-headed one in the room. I’m the one who can self-regulate.   January is a great time to make a resolution that will provide ongoing support, encouragement and care to the foster or adoptive family you serve. Resolve to pray for your family daily, check in with them regularly and offer a unique & COVID friendly gift of support every month of the coming year! Use our list or create one that fits the unique needs of the family you support!
COVID restrictions meant Mesa County DHS, businesses, churches and Project 1.27 staff had to get creative for the 2020 Foster, Kinship and Adoptive Family Christmas Party! Working together, they pulled off a Progressive Christmas Party that drew rave reviews from the 76 families - 220 children and 161 adults- who participated in the holiday fun.
Children received books from the NEWLA Book Drive (in honor Nuala Lewis), craft supplies, Bombas Socks, new gloves, cookies, Pringles, Sprite, candy and treat-filled stockings. Adults were blessed with frozen meals, gloves and other goodies! Families enjoyed caroling, a live nativity and beautiful holiday decorations at each stop along with participating in a Christmas Car Scavenger Hunt. Thank you to Mesa County Department of Human Services, Famous Footwear, Ticket to Dream Foundation, Appleton Christian Church, Connection Church, First Baptist Church, River City Church, First Presbyterian Church, Jubilee Family Church, Central Orchard Mesa Church, Katie Peterson of NEWLA Book Drive and Project 1.27 staff (and their families) for supporting and loving every family and child! Hey there.Thank you for the love and hard work you all put into this. It was definitely a different but fun experience. You guys are wonderful. Thank you. - Amanda Hey there! I was wondering if you could help me with something. :). Would it be possible to get the recipes for the chicken and rice soup that came from the church on East Orchard Mesa? It has been the biggest food hit with my daughter and she is PICKY. - Jenn Marie 12 Days of Christmas Stops!
Chicken and Brown Rice Soup Author Mavis Butterfield (With Lisa McGinnet’s exclusions/additions) Ingredients 8 Pounds Chicken , cooked and shredded 4 Cups Frozen Corn 8 Heaping tablespoons Concentrated Chicken Stock Base 4 Cups Brown Rice {uncooked} 8 teaspoons dried thyme 4 teaspoons ground pepper 4 teaspoons salt 8 1 gallon sized freezer bags Instructions Fill each bag with the following: 1 Pound Chicken, cooked and shredded 1/2 cup Frozen Corn 1 Heaping tablespoon Concentrated Chicken Stock Base 1/2 cup Jasmine Rice {uncooked} 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon ground pepper 1/2 teaspoon salt After filling the bags, label, date and zip them closed before tossing them into the freezer. Empty contents of the chicken soup mix into a crock pot or into a stock pot, add 5 cups of water and cook on low until the soup is warm and the rice is soft. {About 2 hours in the crock pot or 30 minutes on the stove top}.  2020 has been a challenging year for everyone, and many challenges remain ahead. For foster families and children, managing day to day life in combination with navigating the complexities of a child welfare case under the umbrella of a pandemic leaves them weary, stretched thin, and exhausted. There is always value in reaching out and asking for help, however, sometimes families may not be aware of the help they need or take time to ask. As we approach the holiday season in a hard year, perhaps one of the most meaningful ways you can honor the generosity and care that often characterizes Christmas is to proactively see and meet the needs of your foster or adoptive family. See a need for caregiver self-care? Self care requires a lot of creativity right now, as many typical outlets are not available. Do you have an hour or two you could set aside every month to be a resource to the family for whatever they need? For example, you could offer two hours of childcare on the first Sunday of every month while the foster parents take time to fill their cup with a favorite self-care activity. See a need for resources? Before running your errands, ask your foster family what you can pick up for them. Organize a small grocery delivery with pantry staples and favorite snacks. Offer to pick up any prescriptions the child may have, or order a delivery of diapers and wipes. The possibilities for tangible ways to take one thing off a family’s plate are endless! See a need for connection? With so many families struggling to keep their heads above water while managing a myriad of daily tasks and responsibilities, isolation is occuring. Does your family need a lifeline of connection thrown their way? Host a Christmas Light Scavenger Hunt around the neighborhood with hot chocolate in hand, exchange Christmas cards with meaningful and encouraging notes attached, or send a quick text to tell the family you prayed over them.reminds the family that they are not alone.
See an opportunity to offer your talents? Do you have a keen eye for photography? Take some updated family portraits. Do you have a background in teaching? Tutor a child or help them with virtual school. Are you crafty? Put together activity kits to help keep the kids occupied. Think about the things you love and are good at, and offer those to the foster family. See an opportunity to offer your time? Families have more time together than ever, and while that is a gift, the absence of childcare and normal social support leaves caregivers wearing too many hats. Perhaps you could keep the child busy by offering to play a virtual game together, tuning in to one of the many webcam experiences offered by zoos, museums, performing arts, or taking the child out for a walk around the park. This will give parents a few moments to regroup and organize the household. See an opportunity to celebrate? Christmas is still the perfect time to spread joy and cheer. Grabbing a coffee? Send your foster family a text asking for their coffee order. Host a multi-family door-decorating competition and decorate each other’s front doors. Share pictures of each other’s Christmas trees and favorite ornaments. Organize a Christmas book swap and exchange your favorite holiday classics. Surprise decorate a family’s front lawn. Go out of your way to show kindness and thoughtful gestures; they mean more now than ever! |
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Project 1.27 • 14000 E. Jewell Ave. • Aurora, CO 80012
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Website by 27th Letter Media
Copyright Project 1.27 • All Rights Reserved
Website by 27th Letter Media